Unreliable Narrator

Last year I started working for my favorite internet creator and I told exactly NO ONE.

Internally, I was exploding with a deep, unsettling fear. Externally, I obviously keep my intellectual poker face.

At this point, I had been writing my own newsletter and social media content for myself and others. I couldn’t really claim that I was a creator. I barely dared to introduce myself as a writer. 

I don’t really believe in the concept of “impostor syndrome”. I trust that if someone gives you an opportunity or opens a door for you they know what the heck they are doing.

But in that very moment, I had was an incredibly profound “what the F*ck” moment. 

To understand the full extent of my freakout, we need to quickly revisit the concept of an Unreliable Narrator.

In fiction, an unreliabe narrator is usually a main character whose credibility is compromised. The reader (or viewer) cannot trust their truthful account of events. Most of them aim to hide their criminal activities. Remember Gone Girl? Some are just inexperienced, naive or deeply biased by their own perceptual filters. Either way, they are strategically omitting trivial information to others or worse, to themselves.

Funny story: I have been an unreliable narrator of my own sluggish career path. 

Approximately six months before getting my PhD, I got a tiny bit obsessed with personality tests. I felt as lost as anyone who believed that the toxic academic environment was not really for them but were clueless about what else was out there.

I know for example that I am an Obliger in Gretchen Rubin's four tendencies test, I have an INFP mediator personality and I am a Translator in the Generalist World test. So far, everything checked. But there were no explicit clues towards what to do next.

Then, there was the ODYSSEY test: an extensive quiz tailored for academics to understand their perfect working environment. Normally, it is paid. But through a moment of fate, the owner of the test made it available to me for free because she remembered my desperation in a brief encounter at a career event.

Back in 2022, I didn’t take the results seriously and now, here we are. The results are not even a close call. 

If I weren’t a master self-gaslighter I could have accepted that I was a Creator and embark on this crazy journey already 3 years ago.

But alas, in 2022 I had no idea what was a creator, and if anything found it mildly amusing. Sure, I liked science communication and was good at it to some extend. But how in the world did this become a viable option in a serious career-personality test? Puzzled, I ignored my calling and applied to work at a microscopy startup.

Looking back, the story I narrated to myself was as faulty as Eleanor Oliphant telling herself she is completely FINE.

Creating content changed the way I think about the world. The way I think about marketing, self-promotion, and how we can provide value. 

Being a creator is not a job. It is a learning curve. It is following your intellectual curiosity. It is everything I was missing being a scientist, because now I not only get to investigate, read, and learn but I also get to express myself in creative ways that I never imagined possible for a serious reputation scientist.

Being a creator is WILD. 

What do you mean you can just work with the people you admire?
What do you mean I got a chance without showing the correct experience on my CV?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?

The tricky part about being your own unreliable narrator is that you might not be aware that you are doing it.

The story feels true, because society has certain expectations when you graduate.

So here is a small question I’ll ask you that I wished someone had challenged me on. No one needs to know about it, but I invite you to entertain this idea.

What is something that rings true to you, your carrer, your purpose but you have 0 idea how to make it happen?

Chances are you are only a rabbit hole (or three years) away of finding out the HOW.

READER RECOMENDATIONS

Yesterday I received two resources together with a beautiful testimonial by an esteemed reader (thank you Sophie!)

Keep up the audacity,

Laura